Work v/s Life balances

Recently, I had the privilege of attending a workshop on work v/s life balance & even though I’m adept at giving such a workshop, it’s refreshing to be at the receiving end. Usually your beliefs build over time through your own experiences, & having a fellow professional reconciling theirs with yours, simply lends the credibility you seek.

So for the younger reader who is at the threshold of her career & is wondering how to strike a balance it’s important to write down your priorities. A list helps re-enforce the clarity in your thoughts and then follow-through action happens with more precision.

Me, I’ve always been a disciplined time manager & do not allow one role to eat into the other. If you have read my post on ‘Empty Nesters’ you will know that a younger foolish me was envious of my colleagues who were single & racing ahead of me in their career, achieving successes which were professional milestones (CEO’s at 33, VP’s at 29). In India we are more enamored with age than our western counterparts, but age is the universal currency of perceived successes.

As I look back, I realize today that any such high achievement always come at a cost. And there’s neither right nor wrong in these choices, only a priority that one made.

Here is a guide to my insights on how to try & strike a balance:

1. the first & most important priority is to never measure your achievements on those of others. Each one of us has a different objective in life & we must pursue our own with a simple honesty & zero envy. 
2. never compromise one at the cost of the other. When at home switch off from all the challenges that are devouring you at work & take the time to relax your mind by spending quality time with your loved ones. 
3. at work attack each challenge with logic & passion rather than compassion & emotion. 
4. set absolute & clear deadlines for yourself & avoid too many ciggy & tea breaks. They cause a disruption which adds an additional 3 hours daily to your existing work life (unnecessary in my mind). 
5. focus, focus, focus & let go of all negativity. Nothing brings more success than a positive attitude & clear outlook.
6. compete with only yourself. 
7. remember, nothing happens with just pure luck & the harder you work the luckier you get.  
8. do something you love in your free time – yoga, dancing, scuba diving – something you find exhilarating & fun. 
9. lastly & also as important choose your friends carefully. They usually influence you in ways beyond recognition & before you know it’s too late to recover lost ground both in the professional & personal space.

I have been so fortunate to have a life partner who is truly the most generous person there is & through his immense patience with me, I have become this far–sighted & focused individual.

I may not have achieved the socially perceived early successes but yes I did manage to have a great professional life with smaller successes balanced with a terrific personal life with equal successes.

We can proudly claim that our kids are stress- free & balanced as well. There have been fewer tantrums & no self-destructive teenage rebellions… 

Not being a full time mom still saw me witness all the motherhood joys, perhaps not to the extent I would have wished but balanced enough. And having a job gave me a sense of accomplishment which is beyond compare. 

I have only one person to thank & that is my best friend & life partner Harsh.

Thank you for always being there for me……..I don’t think I would have been half the balanced person I am without you. 

And as Jerry Maguire would say "you complete me".

TRIVIA

It’s been a while since I’ve written and now with much awe & humility my respect for writers is even higher than it earlier was. It’s not easy being inspired day after day, week after week to express your thoughts into interesting words. I pretend not, to be a superior one & do know that it's the simplicity I wish to reflect that gets expressed. In any case my blog is to share the simpler pleasures & experiences hopefully a source of delight or inspiration to others. No tall claims of wanting to make a difference.

There is so much happening in my life as well that I want to enjoy every moment and writing is only a fraction of my dreams & things to do before I pop it …..Time my only true enemy.

Very often I hear people mention that life’s been unfair & they have not achieved what they set out too but really it’s usually ‘us’ we need to inspect & most often ‘we’ are the culprits who stand between our dreams. I do believe that if you can dream it you can do it.

Strangely most of the people I am now meeting are exactly like me ‘content’. Not sure if it’s somehow possible to attract people who are JLY? Do we really send vibrations into the universe that nudges our destiny – In my cynical world this seems unlikely but my friends who practise Buddhism swear by this.

Having recently attended a 50^th destination birthday with a bunch of near 50 year olds was exhilarating & liberating not to mention delicious with gluttony meals that would put the ancient Romans to shame. Being amongst a crowd who uninhibitedly know each other for over 20 years is too much fun & being a silent spectator even more. I fell for the idea of celebrating my landmark birthday surrounded by gentry who love me even more. True friends are important & their being there for your happy times is as important as them being there when times are tough. To have a friend who’s happy for you is as tough to find as having a friend who stands by you when things are rough. And truly blessed are those who can whip up more than 3 such friends.

Mountains have always fascinated me more than the sea and I do find myself longing to be a recluse during my leisure time surprisingly more oftener now. Don’t get me wrong I love working, the buzz it brings & the feeling of purpose it inspires – it’s striking the balance which is the dispute. How much work is enough and where to draw the line without it invading your personal space is more a challenge than the other way around. As when I’m at work I’m so totally into it that I fear I do need to withdraw else life will pass me by & I would not have any fun.

And like the 1965 film ‘WAQT’ – Time that’s the one to watch out for……for it’s running you by….